I really do have to give myself a talking to.
I've been feeling rubbish for weeks, I've had headaches, cold sweats, fuggy heads, ear aches, now I've got a tingling, pins and needles sensation around my head and ear.
I've been to the Dr, he can't find anything wrong with me.
I'm just feeling hopeless, down in the dumps, and generally rubbish. The financial situation is going from bad to worse, upon which I will not dwell, and it is the time of year I usually start feeling all sparkly and optimistic about Christmas.
So in an Elaine stylee I am going to have to pull up the big girl knickers, and promptly give myself a kick in their general direction.
The world is three quarters full with people worse off than me. Yes, we have failed dismally to get this whole situation under control, yes we have had a pile of disappointments, delays and distractions this year, and yes, I feel like poop.
But sitting here feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help. There must be a resolution.
As I await what Jo and I refer to as the JK Balboa Moment (it's a cross between JK Rowling in a cafe with a biro and Rocky Balboa on the sidewalks at dawn in his trackies - you know, that 'right, this is not funny any more, I have to do this now' moment) I think I'm going to have to be just a tad more proactive.
Cheer me on, there's a love.
Coming up again
3 hours ago