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Well, here's the dead hedge, bumbling along, turning itself quietly into a wildlife habitat.

It is hard to think about leaving here, but we do think about how we really must try to bust a gut to buy some place.

We're applying for shared ownership properties in town - we'd keep our rented land, and keep our life, but start with the Big Girl Knickers and buy the roof over our head - and although this time around it seems unlikely, it's giving us a feel for what we need to do.

I've been looking at budget planners, and following Frugal Queen's new webinar series. The problem for us seems to be the complicated nature of our outgoings. There are a hundred columns on my spreadsheet. So I'm going to address that somehow, because we need to pay down debt and get ourselves into our own home some how.

Meanwhile I've been selling at the local Country Market. If you're not familiar with Country Markets please look up your local one and take a look. Really wonderful locally grown, baked and crafted goods are on sale at fabulous prices, plus friendly faces and (I can only speak for Pewsey) fabulous coffee.

We take along wonderful small culinary herb plants for a pound a pot, as well as some bigger and more exciting herbs, some baked goods including our signature Homity Pies, and I plan to start to take along some crafted items too.

Diploma work has ground to a halt. I just don't seem to have the hours in the day.  However it is half term, and it's a great joy that H is out working with her dad - who is now back into the family business of painting and decorating - as well as studying hard for her exams.

Boo is also studying, learning clarinet and gearing up for the new sheepdog trial season.

Well, that was a bit of a random round up.  Focus on the finances coming up!

When the answer is 'both'

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We have been struggling to keep up of late.

I'm working more hours, the girls have exams, the garden is getting away from us, and as for the field!

We've a possible move on the cards - to a tiny house but one we might own in part - but we can't know if that is either possible or the right thing to do, as yet.

I have stayed awake long hours praying and listening on this. Should I give up this job? It's stopping us from living out our agrarian calling.

Should I keep this job? It's helping to keep us afloat financially.

Should we stay here, where we feel called to things we have not yet achieved.

Should we bust a gut and break ourselves to move, and break the bondage and poor stewardship of excessive rent.

Work or farm? Home or House? Earn or Produce?

Right now, all I ever hear is : both.

And that's too hard.
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