Goodbye, Bracken

Haven't posted for ages - so much is going on, and yet so little is clear, nothing solid to comment upon. The girls both now have places at school in September, so life will change hugely for me. We have been burning the midnight oil and the rubber on the road trying to find a stand in pony for H for pony club camp in just one week's time, and have I think, just succeeded. As a result, I think, of the momentous decisions, and perhaps the search for a pony, I am feeling pretty poorly. I have a lot of symptoms which could mean anything from 'my age' to 'run down' to full blown chronic fatigue - so I am trying now to take it a little easier.

On Thursday, Neil fed the in kid goats, turned to milk the other goat, turned back, and our beloved Bracken had died. No warning. She ate her breakfast, she died.

Worried sick about the other goats, he had to take her all the way to Bristol University for a post mortem, which revealed that she had ruptured her uterine artery. No reason, it just happens. So sad, and after such a hard week, it just nearly did for me.

The weather is a repeat of the last two summers - cold and wet. The Rayburn is alight, and all the others have gone off to evening meeting at chapel, but after I was nearly reduced to tears with the pain in my joints, sitting still this morning, I have been left at home, on the sofa with a blanket, to try to feel better.

And to shed a quiet tear for Bracken, my favourite. Bye bye, sweetheart. Sleep well.

I can't think where this photo was taken, she seems to have climbed into a semi deconstructed lambing pen, but it's so telling of her lovely face.