If winter comes

I was saddened beyond words to say goodbye to sara at farmama . It seems as if bloggers come and go in great waves of loveliness and intentionality, and in the end, lap onto the beach and are gone.
Sometimes, we are just not here because LIFE takes over.
Our world right now is totally different than anything we have ever done before, and I don't quite know how I got here.
Neil drives endless, sorry hours in a taxi. I sit at a desk and take phonecalls.
Outside, the garden fills with weeds, the goats amuse each other and love life but miss their human firends, the ponies stand hairily in the field - ridden at the weekend, but merely cared for in the short days of the week.
The children are at school - a sentence which still does not sit quite right with me - and hard, economic facts of life have at last invaded the idyll which was our God-given gift of a life.
Each day, I try to do one small thing - I even created a blog for it -but even if I get time for the small thing, I don't get time to blog it.
We dream that in the spring, we will try again.
I walk the dog for his diminishing minutes before the work day begins, and I believe that one day, I will be setting out in this rain dashed wind to work once again on the land, among the animals. Many is the morning, the tears dry on my face in the head wind on the way home.
Sometimes I see my playful goats, and their growing babies, but mainly, that is Neil's job, before the taxi shift. Rarely, I see the jacob sheep, and I dream of spinning and knitting their wool less now, as it becomes a distant hope. I can still throw corn to the bantams, and my big daft dog still sits at my feet.
If I feel like a fight, I can find carrots and kale to eat in the garden, and the garage is wealthy with potatoes, and onions and garlic.
On a good day, I believe spring will come.


Stealth Jew said...

I keep a kitchen garden that more or less feeds us fresh vegetables on 20 minutes a day. Would something like that work for you? We have kale, lettuce, and parsnips right now. We ate all of the carrots.

I hope that things turn around for you.

Jackie said...

Thank you for visiting.
That is always a good option - but my garden used to be my livelihood, so it's a bit large to tend in 20 minutes!
I have a plot about 10 rods I believe, the same size as an allotment, near my house, and also the acre we had in production when we ran the box scheme.
I'll be working on the garden as part of my Permaculture Diploma, hopefully, so I will have to be realistic about next year's prospects before I produce a design.

softearthart said...

Sometimes life leads us in certain directions and we can still enjoy it.
To be always fighting the changes can be very wearing on the soul and heart.
Turn it around and say, "All is well in my world" and maybe all will be well.

I am a great believer in things happening for a reason, the trouble is , it is not clear what the reason is at the time you are going through the happening.

cheers from New
Zealand Marie

Plain and Joyful Living said...

We had to take a step back along our journey as well - never lose your dreams!

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