The calm ... erm... after the storm!

Had a lot of tempestuousness going on just lately.
We're once again considering school for the girls .. but I must admit today the panic subsided, and once again we felt like we might just survive, the way we are .. the problems are kind of multi faceted .. the isolation is not good. There are other ways we could address this, but school would be a really nice one ... then there's the time.
I have, over the last few days, discovered the true extent to which I have let my daughters down, in terms of inadequate housekeeping, standards, and training. It's been scary. I can't let it carry on this way.
If they were at school, someone (me) would get chance to monitor the state of their rooms, fore example. As it is, I am responsible for homeschooling, running a business, half running a farm, running Sunday School, running a Guide unit, looking after four horses, trying to grow all our own food .. as anyone who has ever been overcommitted knows, urgent begins to take precedence over important, and then things go wrong.
It is simply not ok that it has taken two days, and will take another, to make my younger daughter's bedroom habitable.
From the isolation point of view .. we just don't seem to make friends with other HEers. Partly, this is because, we are too busy to go to anything - our local christian he sport club is good, but in winter, we can't get there, and be back in time to do barn chores and shut chickens up. We get few enough chances to ride in these dark, inhospitable days, and we can't be playing netball when there might be chance! My daughters make friends at Guides, and Pony Club, with children who go to school - they aren't, and don't want to be, oddball off the wall types! Me? I just don't have any friends. Ali, who I see once in a blue moon, but talk to a lot, is a real friend, other than that, I have no one. No one to invite round for coffee, no one to have lunch with, no one to talk or pray or sew with. That can't be right.
I have a burst of optimism about our chapel, we love it dearly and would love to see it full (your prayers appreciated!) - but really, I'm the youngest by a mile and I'm no spring chicken.
I can do all things, through Christ who strengtheneth me. Which is just as well.
It will work out. I wish I knew how.


Catherine said...

It's so hard to know what the right thing is to do. Pray about it and go with your gut's usually right! (This probably doesn't make sense but I know what I mean!! LOL!!)

Catherine x

joc4jesus said...

My boys bedrooms are NOT habitable but according to some people I'm not even supposed to train them - I'm just supposed to pick up the rubbish uncomplainingly. And that is NOT going to happen. Cue lots of Mummy moaning and grumpy boys.

I feel for you regarding the isolation. We live in town and we do attend Christian HE groups but my ds1 has no real friends. I feel so sad for him and my IL's put me under a lot of pressure to put him in school so that he can have friends. I am going to try joining him in Boys Brigade to try to encourage him a bit.

Hope the to school or not to schoo l issue sorts itself out.


PlainJane said...

Hello Dear,
I'm glad the storm has passed for the time being. Actually, I have been thinking just the opposite lately. lol We have been more or less isolated for quite some time and all has been very well - especially in the family keeping healthy, but then just last week the girls were with friends Thursday & Friday and of course, 2 of the friends were sick and have now passed on their lovely colds to our girls. (sigh) There is a lot to say for not socializing. lol So this week we are taking extra care to nurse the girls back to health so they can go caroling on Saturday with some more fiends and probably catch whatever those girls have - my don't I sound cynical.

On the bright side, I don't have any friends to catch colds from. lol Well, no, I do have friends, but I don't see them very often as everyone is so busy rushing about keeping their children involved in everything the WORLD has to offer - except me. ALL my local friends seem more like aquaintances and my only best friends are in blogland whom I have never met face to face. For now, I'm content with that.

I suppose each situation is different, but I think there are always trade-offs in life. Sending the children to a school may solve one set of problems, but there will always be another set of problems waiting to take their place. It may free you of a little time that you were spending educating, but then you will have to give up some of your freedom for transportation issues, or take time to mend wounded little hearts from unkind classmates, or whatever. But this I know you realize and took it all under consideration the last time you checked into a school.

You can't do it all Jackie! We all can just do the best we can. Anyone of those things could be a full-time job, let alone trying to do well in all of them. Especially with gardening & horses - something that we never totally arrive at, but are always learning - it's often like two steps forward and one step back (or sometimes one step forward and two steps back :)). I know the feeling all too well.

One thing that has helped us this year is whenever something needs cleaning - like our main storey right now, we just stop everything and all three of us girls pitch in and get er done before we go on to anything else. It is amazing how much brighter life seems after an hour of cleaning. lol

Blessings on your week my friend!

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