Unhelpful Attitude

How do you lose an unhelpful attitude?

I know I suffer from a kind of prideful vulnerability to hurt, and try and pray as I might, I can't seem to lose it.

Yesterday, I went to a Guide Training. On Friday we had rehearsed for Remembrance Day, on Saturday we had a Training Day, on Sunday, Remembrance Day (for which I miss attending my own church) and tomorrow it is Guides.

It is also my 50th birthday, which will actually go unmarked, because I am busy doing things for other people.

On the way home from the training, one of the other leaders chose to share with me that one of the Brownie parents had, upon hearing my name, opined 'Can't stand the woman'

Every bone in my body longs to pack up my uniform, and the eight years of giving of my own time and energies to people who are so downright lazy they won't even help out once a term, and walk quietly and sedately away, and let them get on with it.

Now I know this is an unhelpful attitude. But I can't shift it.

Not long ago, one of the Guides had left, and another said to my daughter 'She left because she didn't like your mum.' This made my daughter cry.

Perhaps I am just not cut out for it, and ought to leave, and go and do something else. If I am not liked, would that count as throwing my toys out of my pram, or just a public service?


Ellen said...

Jackie, first and foremost: Happy Birthday! Second, it never fails to shock me that those who never lift a finger never hesitate to open their traps and criticize. Every point you expressed in your post is valid and would be for anyone; it's part of what makes us human. It's interesting to ponder that, in the spiritual realm, perhaps our enemy, who is always on the prowl, uses thoughtless and careless comments just like these to discourage us and even stop us from doing the very work God would have us do. (You'll notice I have shown extreme forbearance in declining to comment on the thoughtlessness of others passing on hurtful criticisms as hearsay. Oops! Guess I ruined that now!) Kick the dust off you sandals and soldier on!

Cat said...

Well, in Canada, we'd call it a "small town" mentality. Meaning those who stir up hurt for others because their world's so small and uninteresting they can't find any better way to spend an idle moment.

If only two negative reviews have come your way in 8 years, that's an excellent track record. Even if you had one complaint per year, I'd say that was outstanding.

Not to mention, it's not over anything you're doing, it's merely a personality complaint. "Like" is a subjective thing. And it's what griping people misuse when they can't find any fault with a person, and simply want to be miserable.

Don't let petty meanness destroy your love of Guides.

Oh, and I will say, your attitude is actually a helpful one, should people need the lesson that others are not for walking on. Do as your common sense tells you.

Dorothy said...

Oh Jackie!

I'm not sure you can get rid of your personality (what you call an unhelpful attitude) because these things are normally set up in childhood. Maybe 10 years of therapy might help? LOL!

For every negative characteristic, there is a positive side to the same coin. You are very sensitive (me too) and the other side of that is the ability to empathise with others and a compassionate heart. Would you really want to ditch those too?

Also, when you lead any group (and in Guides you are a leader) you set yourself up for criticism. It goes with the territory.

Think of all the wonderful experiences the Guides have had because you could be bothered. The girls would miss you.


Lynn said...

Happy Birthday, Jackie!!!!!

You cant change who you are! & you cant please all of the people all of the time!!!!

If it helps, I like you : )


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